Happy 2023: Lessons for a new chapter
Originally published on 3 January 2023
I have been saving my 2022 year in review for 2022 to be really over because you never know what life can throw at you and what you will learn from it. In my case, it was a massive hailstorm that smashed half my house and having to rebuild from that but for others, it might be something else. I only started writing this on New Year’s Eve once I felt it was now safe to put the year in perspective.
There are so many lessons that I learnt in 2022 – they could fill a book – but I want to focus on the ones that had the biggest impact on me. What follows are some of the key lessons I have learnt from 2022 and will be guiding me into the new year.
Lessons for a new chapter
Consistency
All the personal and professional development books, apps, etc., talk about habits and routines, but what I take from that is something broader – consistency. It spans everything in your life. It is how you show up – consistently.
For me, this past year, it started on a whim with yoga on 2 January. I had decided that I needed to do something about my health and try a bit of exercise each day. That bit of exercise each day, turned into 7 days, then 20, then 50, then 100, and I just kept going. It wasn’t always scheduled that I must be on my mat by 8:30, sometimes it was 11:00 or 18:00. Some days, I could only manage 15mins before my body gave up on me. On other days I could do 50mins and was doing handstands by day 150. The point was that I was consistent with my practice.
This consistency eventually extended to other parts of my life, in how I have shown up for myself and what decisions I make. It is a less tangible thing to measure because you cannot see it through routines or habits or count the number of days. It is ultimately the self-discipline and self-value that comes through consistency.
Dream
When did we stop dreaming? I suppose it happens when we start adulting and bills need to be paid. It doesn’t mean that we should stop dreaming though. We all have that nagging dream inside of us (if you don’t, that’s also ok). I know I did. This Mel Robbins podcast episode – Your Dreams Are Not a Joke – helped me realise that it has been there for 20 years, and I have been pussyfooting around it for the last decade.
Dreaming goes hand-in-hand with setting goals. If you want to achieve that dream, you need to set yourself goals to get there. I had been without any specific big goals or dreams for so long and felt like I had lost purpose. By the end of 2022, and with the help of that Mel Robbins podcast episode and my new coach, I finally have goals tied to my dream.
Ask for help
For those of us who are hyper-independent asking for help does not come easily or naturally. I am always someone willing to help out others and will always ask for help on a work task but never do so when it comes to my personal life.
For the past few weeks, I have been learning to ask for and accept help from others. It is not a weakness. It is a part of strengthening yourself. Also, if you know someone who is hyper-independent, reach out to them to offer help because they probably need it and won’t be asking for it.
Let go
Let go of anything that no longer serves you – relationships, work, that pair of jeans you never wear, a bad habit. Whatever it is, let it go. You will feel so free and have the energy and space to do the things you want. Leave it in the past as we enter this new year.
This past year has been a big one of transition for me. I have been making decisions about what to keep and what to let go of. I have emerged on the other side stronger – mentally – and freer. I know who and what matters in my life. I have the space for new experiences to enter my life and that’s a really good feeling.
Find joy
Finding joy has been a recurring theme for my posts in 2022. I think it is because I had been lacking any joy for so long that to have finally found it was so important for me. My little solo dance parties have become less frequent as the long covid steals my energy but there is always a book to turn to. I now have a ritual every Monday that I set aside two hours of ‘joy’ time so that I start my week off well.
Stillness
This final one is part lesson, part book recommendation. Being still is not something that I have ever been particularly good at. Towards the end of 2022, I started to find more stillness in my life through many of the lessons above.
Now to the book recommendation. I had these grand plans of reading and writing all holiday but due to the hail/hellstorm, I only got around to reading in the last week of December. I started reading Ryan Holiday’s Stillness is the Key. There are too many good quotes to take from the book, but I think this excerpt captures stillness:
Stillness is what aims the archer’s arrow. It inspires new ideas. It sharpens perspectives and illuminates connections. It slows the ball down so that we might hit it. It generates a vision, helps us resist the passions of the mob, makes space for gratitude and wonder. Stillness allows us to persevere. To succeed. It is the key that unlocks the insights of genius, and allows us regular folks to understand them. (Holiday, p.2)
The book has provided me with a guide to stillness to take into 2023. I highly recommend it if you haven’t already read it.
A new year does not need to be a new you
A new year does not mean it has to be a new you (unless you want it to be). I opened the list with consistency for a reason. It is an opportunity for a fresh start but, remember the principle of consistency. Choose how you want to show up in the world and be consistent.
Happy 2023! I hope it brings you all that you wish for.
Alex the Generalist
